Schoolgirl Engages Full Metal Mode at Switch 2 This October

"No More Ice Cream! Seriously?"

Okay, so if you’re one of those folks scratching your head, wondering where all those Switch 2 game announcements vanished to—grab a comfy seat and let’s dive into the madness that is the future. Picture this: 2089 Japan. Yeah, you heard right. And guess what? D3Publisher’s like, "Hey, let’s throw in some chaos!" with their wild new gig called Full Metal Schoolgirl. Mark the date: October 23rd. Or don’t—I mean, it’s your calendar.

So Yuke’s, the brains behind EARTH DEFENSE FORCE: World Brothers 2, have whipped up this action-packed rollercoaster with a sprinkle of attitude. If you caught the trailer, you’re probably nodding in agreement, or just confused. Either works.

Now, let’s wander—wait, nope, let’s get back to the good stuff. This press release is, uh, quite something:

Picture a Japan so dystopian it’s run by this creepy corporate giant, Meternal Jobz. Their big claim to fame? The “Working Dead”—zombified, never-tiring cyborgs. And you, my friend, are a cyborg schoolgirl, locked and loaded, ready to tackle a 100-story skyscraper filled with undead salarymen. It’s like someone’s weird dream after one too many late-night sci-fi binges.

Producer Nobuyuki Okajima calls it a rebellion—a ballet of bullets and blades in a savage satire of capitalism gone totally bonkers. Who would’ve thought? The future sounds exhausting, yet oddly entertaining.

Imagine this: stomping through skyscrapers, guns blazing, smashing those undead corporate drones, while a sneaky livestream audience cheers you on. Can you say chaotic fun? Hey, focus! Back on track. So, there’s this evolving skyscraper… each run changing just to mess with you more. Perfect if you love unpredictability, and who doesn’t, right?

And the icing? It’s a gamer’s fantasy, leveling up from those viewer donations. The more chaos, the more they love you—what a world!

Oh, and by the way, while pre-orders for Full Metal Schoolgirl aren’t up for Switch 2 yet, you can still check out the official site for more quirky details.

And, I mean, isn’t ice cream just the best metaphor here? Because really, can’t a cyborg schoolgirl catch a break anymore?