Eagleopolis Falls Despite Helldivers 2 Players Defeating 2.5 Billion Squids in Super Earth’s Opening Battle, Leaving Six Mega Cities to Defend

Okay, so here’s the deal. Do you like good news more, or does the bad news get your blood pumping? But hey, let’s kick off with some positivity, yeah? Helldivers 2 totally rocked it by taking down over two billion Illuminate in the battle for Super Earth. Oh? And the bad? Well, Eagleopolis — yeah, one of those big, bustling Mega Cities — didn’t make it. Poof. Gone. It’s like, “C’mon, seriously?”

It’s kinda wild, really. Even with more Helldivers than you’d see at a dive bar on a Friday night, they couldn’t keep those Illuminate critters from smashing through. So now Eagleopolis is rubble on the map. Got someone to hug? Great. I’d suggest a SEAF buddy while you watch a clip of someone catching epic waves on a Leviathan. It’s pretty soothing, I guess.

Once upon a time (or maybe just the other morning), the major directive was about showing those Illuminate who’s boss after they started partying on Super Earth’s lawn. We had that Heart of Democracy update drop and bam, things seemed swell. They hit the target: 2.5 billion Illuminate down for the count. Party time, right? Uh, not so fast.

Arrowhead chimed in, “Eagleopolis is toast — like, seriously vintage toast. Its malls are now ghost stories for the rest of Super Earth if we screw this up.” And then they just go ahead and drop the mic with, nope, still got work to do. Oh, we’re halfway there, Illuminate fleet at 49% or so. But, um, six Mega Cities still stand. So, torch fires, circle wagons, or whatever, Helldivers gotta keep those cities from going kaput too. Like, rally time!

If you’re still with me, here’s the mission: extract from fights against Illuminate. Yeah, like 20 million more times. Take that, you big alien health bar! Also — no lie — avenge Eagleopolis. And if you peek at the subreddit, folks are talking more about their SEAF trooper pals. Fan art is a thing; it’s bonding, right? Maybe.

Cry some super tears for Eagleopolis? Comment below, tell me how you feel, or don’t. Hug a pal. It’ll be fine. Probably.