Sure, here’s a rewrite following your guidelines:
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So, it’s mid-July and the PlayStation Store’s having this huge sale thing. Honestly, it’s like Christmas for gamers, but with more sunburns and ice cream. Random note: Why do they always put these sales smack in the middle of summer when I’m already broke from vacationing… or just dreaming of vacationing?
Anyway — wait, no, let’s get back on track. The star of this whole shebang? Returnal. It’s going for a crazy 58% off. We’re talking about a price drop from a whopping $69.99 to just $29.39. Pretty sure my last night’s dinner delivery cost more. Oh, and heads up! This deal’s running out soon, like July 17 early morning. Alarms might be necessary if you’re the forgetful type. Trust me, I am.
This game — okay, here’s the deal — you’re this character, Selene. She crash-lands on some wild, shape-shifting planet. Seriously, why do these things always happen in space? So she’s stuck in this loop, dying and reviving like it’s just another Tuesday. The planet and your gear? They morph every time. It’s like playing musical chairs but with guns. Sounds nuts, right?
When it hit the shelves back in 2021, people were all over it. Critics? They gave it an 86 on Metacritic. Not that I always agree with them — sometimes they love stuff I can’t stand, you know? But still, that’s a darn good score. And it scooped up awards too, like Best Action Game in some fancy awards show and one for its audio. Audio! Like, that’s literally music to my ears, if you ask me.
Oh, and my two cents: we gave it a solid 10 out of 10 in our review. If I remember correctly — or maybe I’m just making this up — we called it a must-play for the PS5 crew. Feels like they meshed the rogue-like chaos with some big-budget flair. And it works. Like, really works. Constantly keeps you on your toes, just when you think you got it all figured out.
Anyway, if space adventures and dying a thousand deaths is your jam, you might want to jump on this. Or not. I mean, who knows? Maybe tea-sipping simulators are more your speed. What a world.