I’ve coined a term for those long-lost, forgettable, slightly offbeat games from our past. I like to call them “Cousin Games.”
To really get into the mindset of a Cousin Game, picture yourself entering a house that has an oddly unfamiliar smell. You find yourself in a room with someone who’s sort of like a quirky version of you. He’s playing Nintendo, which makes sense, but then you glance at the screen and find yourself thinking, “Wait… what on earth is this?”
A Cousin Game is a game you don’t own, nor do you really care to. However, calling it a “Cousin Game” doesn’t mean it’s a bad game. Plenty of poor-quality games aren’t Cousin Games at all.
Here’s a quick breakdown of what counts as a Cousin Game:
These aren’t your typical “mainstream” games. For instance, Madden isn’t a Cousin Game; it’s just something your cousin might play. This generally applies to most sports games, though there are exceptions, especially in extreme sports and motorsports.
Consider Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater—definitely not a Cousin Game. But Tony Hawk’s Underground 2? Absolutely. AirBlade fits the bill as well.
Spider-Man games have a 75% chance of being Cousin Games. That chance rises to 80% for Wolverine titles and 90% for Taz-related games.
Overall, licensed tie-in games are more likely to be labeled as Cousin Games.
First and third-party mascot games rarely fall into this category, but the Sonic franchise has quite a few exceptions. In the world of first-party Nintendo games, they almost never qualify—except for Geist, which undeniably is a Cousin Game.
When it comes to PC games, they could be Cousin Games, but they’re often more aptly described as Uncle Games—a topic we won’t delve into right now.
Cousin Games carry a certain enigma with them. How did they end up in this oddly-scented house? Were they a random gift picked off a store shelf by a parent? Or was your cousin truly invested in something like BattleTanx 2? Do they look back on it fondly, just as it remains an oddity to you?
And if you came across any of the games listed here and thought, “That’s not a Cousin Game,” you might have to face the unsettling reality that you might be the cousin. But don’t worry, there’s help out there for you.
